


Dreams of Spring

by luvsanime02



Series: Delete Winter [5]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Child Abuse, Childhood Memories, F/M, Forced Prostitution, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-17 13:56:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3531824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvsanime02/pseuds/luvsanime02
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter what, Mikasa will always follow Eren.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreams of Spring

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



**Disclaimer:** I don’t own Shingeki no Kyojin. That honor belongs to Isayama-sensei. I’m making no profit off of this fic.

########

 **Dreams of Spring** by luvsanime02

########

Mikasa is scared.

There are men trying to drag her and her mother away, and her parents are screaming. Her mother is telling her to run, but Mikasa can’t move. Her feet stay in place because she’s scared. If she moves, she’ll be hurt.

Then her mother is standing in front of her, shielding her from the men, hitting them with her fists and trying to bite the hands that are pulling at her.

There is a loud gunshot, and her father is dead. He’s laying face-down on the floor, and there’s blood everywhere, and Mikasa doesn’t even know if her mother notices before they shoot her too.

There are hands pulling her away and telling her to be quiet, but Mikasa isn’t speaking anyway. She can’t say anything. All she can do is stare at her parents’ bodies as she is dragged past them and out the front door.

Mikasa is limp in their arms. Vaguely, she notices that they’re pulling her along up the hill and to the cabin, but she doesn’t know why. Two of the men are yelling at the one who killed her mother. They weren’t supposed to shoot her. She wasn’t supposed to die.

Mikasa feels so cold. The evening air is brisk and her feet are bare. She doesn’t know why she’s noticing this right now, but it makes her feel uncomfortable. Finally, they reach the small building and the men dragging her throw her inside. Her elbow knocks hard onto the wooden floor, and the pain sends little spikes up her entire arm.

All of the sudden, one of the men is grabbing the front of her nightgown and slapping her across the face, warning her again not to make a sound. She doesn’t understand why he’s hurting her; she hasn’t done anything wrong.

Then there are harsh hands reaching under her clothes and grabbing her underwear, pulling them off. She blinks, but one of the men is holding her hands down above her head and then it _hurts_ , it really hurts now, and she wants to cry out but she can’t. She’s so afraid of being hurt.

He’s hurting her anyway. She doesn’t know what to do.

There’s a knock on the door.

#########

Mikasa wakes up to pounding, and looks around confused at first before memory finally catches back up with her. She is here, with Eren. She is safe.

She looks around for the source of the noise, but can tell from the distance that it’s not someone at the door to their room. Letting her head fall back down, Mikasa focuses on breathing and trying to forget her dream.

She looks over at Eren, who can sleep through anything, and then she smiles, just a little. His face looks peaceful and his arm is flung out toward her, his fingers still curled up from when they both fell asleep holding hands.

Eren’s not okay anymore. She knows it’s not what they’re doing to survive. While they were both unsure about sex between them at first, it’s become their routine rather easily. Mikasa likes sex with Eren. He’s always so worried about hurting her, and he always touches her gently.

No, something else is wrong, and it has Mikasa worried. Eren’s been staring out of the window a lot in the past week or so, and seeing him like this has her uneasy because she knows what that means.

Eren is thinking of leaving here.

She knows that he wouldn’t leave without her. That’s not what’s worrying Mikasa. It’s just that she doesn’t know where they will go if they leave this place. They don’t have any money. She and Eren aren’t paid in money, but in food and housing and other amenities. It’s just one more way of tying them down and making sure that they can’t survive on their own.

Despite that, Eren is thinking of leaving anyway. It unsettles Mikasa because she is used to their life now. It’s not perfect, but nothing’s been perfect for her since before her parents died.

 _Why now?_ she wants to ask him. _What’s changed?_

Maybe that’s what’s bothering her the most. Mikasa doesn’t know what’s changed recently, but Eren does, which means that whatever this bad thing is it’s happening to _him_ and not to her. Eren is shielding her again, like he always does, and she doesn’t know whether to love her brother for it or to hate him.

Sighing, Mikasa glances over at the clock and concedes that she might as well get up because she’s not getting any more sleep before their first scheduled live cam of the day. Instead, she goes to take a shower and try to scrub off the last remaining phantom touches of hands gripping her harshly and forcing her legs open.

She doesn’t succeed. Only Eren can completely erase the sensations from her dreams, but she still feels a little better, and a little cleaner, when she steps out from under the spray of water. She brushes her teeth in front of the sink while knowing resignedly that in a couple of minutes she’ll have to wake Eren up for them to start their day.

 _What is it?_ Mikasa stares at her face in the mirror, but nothing changes. _What is it that you’re protecting me from now, Eren?_

Her reflection holds no answers and Mikasa turns away, knowing that in the end she’ll always follow Eren, no matter what happens.


End file.
